Let it bee….

Bee on a dandelion….the cherry blossoms are still a month away

If you have never stuck your nose completely into a cherry blossom, a blossom that burst open only a few hours ago, you cannot know the intensity of joy possible by bees, or by us.

We cannot know what bees know, but if I had to choose between words and the inexplicable joy felt when I buried my face in a fresh patch of cherry blossoms, well, I’m throwing away my keyboard and running away with the bees.

After giving myself to the first cherry tree blossom of spring, I saw a young child, no more than 8, pick up her even younger sister, about 2–she carried her to the cherry tree, to sniff the flowers. She may have seen me do the same thing.

The father, smoking a cigarette, barked at her: “There may be bees in those flowers–get away!”

She slinked away, now fearful of bees and cherry blossoms. Just as well, I suppose–a child in love with flowers and bugs is going to have her heart broken when she earns what is expected of her later.

Crocus breaking through the frozen ground

Not all things are possible, but these things are:

  • You can eat bread, real bread, made from flour you ground with your own hands.
  • You can drink honey wine, made by the yeast you put in a carboy mixed with fruit and honey.
  • You can watch the tide fall, then rise again.
  • You can see Orion tonight if the sky is clear.
  • You can eat pesto made from basil grown in a classroom, fed by light from the sun and the breath of you and your students.
  • You can bury your face in early spring cherry blossoms.
  • You can rake clams, take their lives, and eat them, no matter what sins you have committed.
Winter basil on the windowsill.

What do you tell an 8 year old child holding her very young sister whose just been told by her father that bees are to be feared?

Do you tell her of the honey bee waggle dance? That bees will find her tree, and tell other bees, and that they will all be so intoxicated with the smell of the cherry blossom that she will not be noticed?

Or do you let her Dad stand silently against the tree, puffing on his cigarette, tend to his own children, his own myths, his own ignorance?

Monarch on my finger, late autumn at Two Mile Beach

My Dad is dead. He loved bees.
My Mom is dead. She loved bees.
My sister is dead. She loved bees.
I will someday be dead. I love bees.

Maybe it’s the bees that are killing us. Maybe it’s not. But if it is, I’d still love the bees.

Spine of a dead and decaying horseshoe crab. My reminder.

Occasionally I will stumble upon an exhausted bee, dying on a flower. Too tired to move, but still alive enough to thrust her tongue into the nectar. I leave those bees well enough alone. Should I be gasping my last breaths with my nose buried in a blossom, I trust the bees will return the favor.

The last sound I heard my mother make was laughter–she died two days later, while I held her hand.

The last few hours of my Dad’s life, he laughed. I heard it, and I held his hand as he died.

I did not hold my sister’s hand–she was killed by an errant Christian missionary who left her broken on the edge of a Michigan highway–but I bet she laughed a few minutes before she died. I know she sang. She always sang. Always.

Mary Beth dancing.

Like a bee humming she sang, sang, sang.

Mostly from an older post–but I needed it today.

On afferent nerves

Anatomy in Honfleur

Everything we know about this world outside of us, whatever that world is, we sense through impulses sent through our nerves.

While our interpretations are complex, the mechanisms are not. Nerve impulses travel as action potentials to the brain, each action potential identical to the next.

The piercing of a nail in one’s foot, the smell of a loved one, the sound of the waves lapping the bayshore all come down to simple signals sent along simple axons, then interpreted in complex ways.

The signals themselves differ only in their frequency, not their magnitude. The sensations differ only because the signals hit different parts of the brain.

The nerves are not conscious, of course, and most of their signals are ignored by the part of the brain that makes you consciously you.

But you can, at only moment, choose to focus your attention on a particular set of nerve signals.

Lichen on a cedar Adirondack chair.

Right now, as you breathe in, the nerves along the trachea are triggered to life, sending signals that the brain interprets as a gentle swirling in your chest.

If you focus on it, you can feel the miracle for what it is.

(And if you don’t, the miracle will happen anyway….)

February light

Crocuses poking up through the frozen earth

February is still here, hanging on as it does, but the light has changed.

February comes from a word meaning “the purging”, and was long the last month for the Romans, occasionally followed by Mercedonius, a month (of sorts) tucked into the calendar to get the calendar back in sync with the seasons.

While we mark our time in chunks set by people who lived a long time ago, people who knew nothing of this side of the Atlantic Ocean, the ancient souls in our ancient brains know the light has changed.

So does the life around us.

The geese are back, the crocus spear through the frozen earth, and the squash from last summer are getting soft.

Last summer’s fruit, this spring’s seeds.

I keep planting, I keep brewing, I keep playing my guitar badly, and I keep getting older. Something has to give.

And it will, but that’s all right. My molecules are vibrating as I breathe, and they will keep vibrating when I die, in one form or another.

(That’s not a metaphor, it’s how the universe works.)

My uke, not my guitar–I’m even worse on the uke.

I just came back from visiting my almost 3 month old grand-daughter. She laughs because that’s what humans do. And eventually I need to get out of her way. And I will.

In the meantime I will continue to sow, to harvest, to cull, to peel, to cut, to cook, to eat.